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8.27.2007Countdown to the Alien AbortionTomorrow morning, my wife will drop me off at "the clinic" to get rid of my unwanted alien child. I have to say, I'm a bit nervous about the procedure. Sure, this isn't one of those back-alley alien abortions, but you never know what could go wrong. Maybe, this thing has already latched on to my vital organs or possibly the aliens implanted more than one alien baby inside me. Who knows, maybe I'm the incubator for an entire alien race? Right now, the doctor is planning on keeping me awake for the procedure. I just don't want get half-way through to hear the screams of everyone in the room getting eaten by some slimey, voracious alien killing machines. The worst part about this is everytime I warn him about the dangers, my doctor keeps telling me this is a simple lipoma excision. I want to believe him, but I just can't shake the feeling something awful lurks under my skin. I hope I'm wrong. I hope this horrible lump is an overflow of Midichlorians. But it's not likely since I am way too old to start the training.
posted by Jim at 7:23 AM
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