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12.23.2007Happy HolidaysDear Twistedjim.com Readers, I hope the 2007 Holiday Season finds you in good health and spirits. The Twisted Family has been quite busy this year. Twisted Son has learned how to talk back and make weird faces. He has learned that throwing a fit when you don't get your way worked for Twisted Daughter, but he is seeing varied results due to his status as second child. Unfortunately for him, Twisted Wife and I have realized our mistakes with TD and decided TS must fend for himself. Currently, he has figured out picking your nose in public is a great way to get attention from your parents, and sisters can be kept at bay by biting their feet or hitting them with Hot Wheels. It really is quite a treat to watch TS at work. From Twisted Daughter's Christmas list, I have realized she has been watching too much TV. I-Dogs, Littlest Pet Shops, iPod Nanos and Zoingo Boingos have invaded the wishes of this seemingly sweet little girl. She has also discovered my greatest pet peeve regarding children, the "what's yours is mine" syndrome. Say I buy myself a DVD. As soon as it hits the living room, it belongs to TD. The house, the cars, the food in the fridge, it's all her's. Try and argue with her and you get sucked into this whirlwind of surreal logic that Kafka couldn't have created. She is truly at a "magical" age. Twisted Wife has been going through her first (or, possibly second) life crisis. She has fallen in love with HGTV and tried to make a business out of it. She has shaken off the shackles of her insurance background to become part Toolbelt Diva and part Ty Pennington. She's also begun feeding her creative side and building bizarre crafts for local fairs. And to top it off, she has been wrangling the children. All this and hanging out with the old ladies at the craft fairs has turned her into the 70 year-old woman I wish I would have married to begin with. The down side is, she hasn't started getting her Social Security checks. So, if you wouldn't mind stopping by the local craft fairs and buying something from her, it would help out immensely. As for me, you know what I'm doing. I'm neglecting this site while I finish The Last Alien. I've committed to having the book on the virtual shelves in the first quarter of 2008. We'll see if Santa can help make that happen. I've asked him for some good plot tweaks for my stocking this year. Hopefully, he brings them instead of that same lump of coal I get every year. Even if the fat man doesn't pony up the goods, I will release the book in the first part of this year with the collection of short stories, Bar Codes and Bloodstains right on its heels. You can expect some changes to Twistedjim.com in 2008 as well, including the Bedlam City Makeover. Ha, funny thing, I asked Ty Pennington to oversee the renovations. That's right, two Ty Pennington references in one post, and I didn't even mention driving drunk. GOOD MORNING TWISTEDJIM.COM! With that, I hope you have a Happy Holiday. xxxooo, Twisted Jim
posted by Jim at 7:08 PM
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