About Jim

I’ve given countless interviews over the course of my life, usually as a getting-to-know-you exercise on the first day of school or in self-help seminars. Regardless, this is far and away the best interview I have ever given.

20 Questions with Twisted Jim
by Casper Edwards

CE: Are you a historical figure?
TJ: No. Nineteen.
CE: If you were to have lunch with Jesus Christ would you feel that it was the most hypothetically cliche thing you’d ever done?
TJ: Yes. Eighteen.
CE: Have you ever been treated for severe depression?
TJ: Treated?
CE: Are you going deaf?
TJ: No. No. Sixteen.
CE: Do you own multiple albums by either Journey or Styx, or in lieu of multiple albums either band’s greatest hits?
TJ: Yes. Fifteen.
CE: Do you have information regarding the mysterious deaths of Bob Crane, Carl Switzer or Philip Marshall?
TJ: No. No. No, he’s not dead. Twelve.
CE: Twelve, that’s only one question.
TJ: Yes or no questions only.
CE: Shouldn’t I still have fourteen questions left?
TJ: No. Eleven.
CE: Are you an asshole?
TJ: If that’s a guess, you lose.
CE: It’s a yes or no question.
TJ: Yes. Ten.

NOTE: At this point I give up, yell multiple obscenities, but am compelled to return to questioning two hours later.

CE: Will you get me a cup of coffee?
TJ: No. Nine.
CE: Are we still playing that stupid game?
TJ: Yes. Eight.
CE: Have you ever had the urge to punch someone in the mouth knowing full well that you’d get away with it but don’t because it’s not polite?
TJ: Yes. Seven.
CE: Do you feel bad for anything you’ve written?
TJ: Yes. Six.
CE: Would you like to apologize to the people you’ve hurt and offended?
TJ: Hurt, yes. Offended, no. Four.
CE: Do you stay awake at night knowing that there is no original thought left in the world but continue to wrack your brain for a unique perspective on life?
TJ: Yes. Three.
CE: Have you ever played this game by the rules?
TJ: No. Two.
CE: Will you ever give up the torture of trying to create something worthwhile, renounce all your creative friends and focus your energy on maintaining the status quo?
TJ: No. One.
CE: You’re an idiot.
TJ: You were so close. I’m a jackass.