5.29.2007

Too Cool for School... or anyone else for that matter

They scare the shit out of Boston, they have the most awesome games, their shows are the funniest thing on TV and now they're giving away music. I have but one question, how did the fuckers at [adult swim] get so cool?

P.S. If you haven't played Bible Fight or 5 Minutes to Kill (Yourself) yet, you haven't lived.

ATHF in Boston

posted by Jim at 9:19 PM | Comments (0)

5.24.2007

Is This What It's Come To? Concert Reviews?

As you can probably tell, Twisted Wife and I have been taking in some shows recently. So, last night we went to see Morrissey. Shocking as it may be, I am not a big fan. However, Twisted Wife is a HUGE fan, which means by default I am a fan. Married guys know exactly how this works, speak ill of the Morrissey and my lifestyle as I know it will be disrupted in horrible ways. So, to keep the peace in my house, I will now say nice things about the show:

The opening act, Kristeen Young, was terrible (I refuse to link to her site due to the trauma I am still enduring). She was a cross between Tori Amos, Bjork and The Dresden Dolls without a millionth of the talent. She jumped around, caterwauling like a spoiled child. The only saving grace was that she was somewhat cute in an art-school girl kind of way. I felt bad because her drummer was good. Unfortunately, she made me cringe. After the show, I was forced to explain to TW that I was in such a state of horror that I couldn't even force a pity clap for Kristeen. The highlight of her act came when she said to the crowd, "I'm not naming names, but some of the English people on this tour think we're in Kansas" (we were in Missouri). "And they think we are stupid because we don't know our geographics." Sorry, dollface, talentless and stupid is no way to go through life.

The Morrissey Review
Although I said I wasn't much of a fan, every time I've seen Morrissey I've really enjoyed the show. By no means does his live show make me want to buy his albums, but it does make me respect his contribution to music. And at 46, he's been in the game long enough to have made a substantial contribution.

Last night was different, though. When he first stepped on stage, he looked his age... too old to rock. He wore a suit that made him look like the stereotypical creepy old guy. And until he ditched it, about three songs into his set, he was freaking me out. Then came The Smiths' songs. As soon as he sang Girlfriend in a Coma, he looked different... younger, possibly, definitely confident. And that was that, the rest of the show was amazing. But I'm still not running out to buy his albums.

posted by Jim at 6:08 PM | Comments (1)

5.20.2007

Arcade Fire at the Chicago Theatre

As some of you may or may not know, Twisted Wife and I have been in dire need of a vacation. My first plan was to take her for a romantic Valentine's Day in NYC to see one of our favorite bands, Arcade Fire, at one of three warm up shows for their tour. This plan was quickly thwarted when scalpers bought most of the tickets and turned around and made a hefty profit on eBay... the dicks.

Quickly Plan B was put into action. This consisted of me bitching right alongside all the 14 year-olds that didn't get tickets to the NYC shows on every forum I could find. When I was done whining, I put Plan C into action. I went to all the fan sites and found out if the band would be coming anywhere near Kansas City. The closest city was Chicago. However, the show wasn't until May. This presented an interesting problem. How could I get everyone to put off Valentine's Day until May? This question consumed my waking hours until I finally realized that I was going to have to brainwash my wife into believing Valentine's Day was May 18th. It worked without a hitch. Twisted Wife and I had a glorious "Valentine's Day" weekend getaway in Chicago. We went sightseeing (including a very entertaining ghost tour), ate a lot, slept in and saw an amazing concert at the Chicago Theatre.

Arcade Fire: May 18th at the Chicago Theatre
There are some people that genuinely enjoy music. They can go to almost any show and walk away feeling that they have seen something good. They're satisfied with just seeing live music. I am not one of these people.

There are also people that go to shows specifically to dissect every song and find fault at every possible turn. They are the ones that were on the Net shortly after the show, posting the set list and reviewing each song by performance, entertainment value and technical merit. I am not one of these people.

I am the guy who rates the shows I have seen. I have a Bottom 10, Bottom 5 and Bottom 3 mental list, as well as a Top 10, Top 5 and Top 3 mental list. Without any hesitation, this show is in the Top 3 list. And, surprisingly, it only took two songs into their set to get there.

From the moment the band walked down the center aisle and stepped on stage until the end of their second encore, every single song deserved the standing ovation it received. This band showed how ten amazing musicians can make extraordinary music, and put on a show reminiscent of the Southern Baptist tent revivals and Sunday morning evangelical TV that their songs are quick to point to as the root of all evil. Everyone in that theatre left as a convert, a believer in music's true power to make you feel alive. It was, arguably, the best show I have ever seen.

posted by Jim at 10:13 PM | Comments (0)

5.14.2007

Social Networks and Blogging: Rule #1

Today I was reminded why you don't blog about work, vendors, co-workers, clients, etc. It can only lead to being dooced. Right or wrong, your employer can fire you for being an idiot online.

So, just remember. If you are about to write a long entry about your job... don't. No one cares, and everyone's job sucks now and again. It's the nature of work. Also, it makes you a shitty blogger or member of a social network. If you have nothing more relevant to say than "My job/client/boss is an ass." Please, I'm begging you, think about changing your life's dream from being a writer to being a miserable human being. It will save all of us a lot of time.

posted by Jim at 10:06 PM | Comments (0)

5.13.2007

Happy Mother's Day

Dear Mom,
On Mother's Day 2007, I would just like to tell you that you are an amazing woman. Instead of jumping in every time I did something stupid, you let me make A LOT of mistakes. And I just want to say, "Thank you." For without this wise guidance on your part, I wouldn't have the power to recognize mistakes as they are happening and laugh at the people who make them. Thanks, Mom. I love you.

Have a Happy Mother's Day!

xxxooo,
Twisted Jim

posted by Jim at 1:01 PM | Comments (0)

5.12.2007

The Killers - Not Queen

I have this deal with Twisted Wife. She takes me to see bands I don't care for and tries to make me a superfan, and I take her to mindblowing awesome RAWK shows. Thus was my deal to go see The Killers at City Market.

This show was destined to suck, but, surprisingly, it didn't. We were late and it was the typical frat-boy and Paris-wannabe crowd. So, I figured I'd died somewhere on the way to the show and was now in Hell. Unwittingly, my wife tripped the utra-elite security by being honest and telling the security personnel that the camera-shaped thing in her purse was actually a camera instead of being sneaky and telling them it was drug paraphernalia. So instead of fighting with TW on Mother's Day weekend, I walked thirty blocks back to our car to put away her camera. By the time I got back, TW had found Steph and everything was once again right with the world.

Thankfully, I had missed the opening band, Hot Hot Heat. Okay, some of you are saying, "Hold on there! Hot Hot Heat is good and they rocked!" No, they didn't. They're an opening band, which means their sound sucked and they were there as background music while you stood in the 500-person beer line.

Finally, The Killers Review
A long time ago, TW won some points by taking me to see The White Stripes. I was luke-warm on the Jack White bandwagon, but, after that show, I jumped on head first. So, now I go to see bands I may not like because she was right once... once. Which brings us to The Killers. They are mediocre. They play a bunch of songs that people like because they are played over and over again on the radio until you find yourself singing them. They want to be Queen, but they lack the charisma. That's it. That's my review. It sucks as much as the band that inspired it.

That being said, there were two things that made me love this show. One, I heard a guy say to a group of friends (including women that I'm guessing he was trying to impress), "That just happened!" I remember laughing hysterically when Will Ferrell said that. But in this situation, I was frightened to death. I was so scared that I looked to the heavens and prayed that God make this young man sterile. For if he were to have children, the collective IQ would surely drop a few points. And we don't have a few points to give.

The second thing I noticed was that a lot of young men were dancing, hugging and carrying on as if The Killers were the best thing they'd ever heard. I leaned over to my wife and asked, "I don't get it, is this band really big in the gay community or with the stoners?" Come to find out, it's a bit of both. And now I understand. So, I learned something, which always gives a band an extra Rock Fingers.

posted by Jim at 10:14 AM | Comments (0)